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1001+ Double Meaning Jokes - Ladka Apni Girlfriend Ke Saath, Kamre Ke Andhar

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Ladka Apni Girlfriend Ke Saath,
Kamre Ke Andhar, Table Ke Upar,
Pankhe Ke Neeche,

De Tacatac-Tacatac, De Tacatac-Tacatac...



Are Tennis Khel Raha Tha, Jaruri Nahi Har 
Joke ganda ho... 


Usne Utari Saree, Fir Aayi Paticoat Ki Bari, Blouse To Pahle Hi Diya Tha Utar...!!!
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Zayda Excited Mat Ho Yaar, Yeh Tha Kapray 
Sukhane Ka Taar... 



ADULT JOKES  - DIRTY JOKES HINDI | NON VEG JOKES IN HINDI  | FUNNY JOKES

'Sardar darakht pe ulta latka hua tha..
 Dost:Tu darakht p Q latka hai?
Sardar:Yar sir dard ki goli khai thi kahin pet mein na chali jaye.
.........................................................................................
Rah chalti ladki ko dekh kar ladka shayari ke andaz mein bola
Ladka: Kash main tumhare hasen honton ki lip-stick hota
Ladki Ne huste hue jawab diye
Ladki: Shukar karo nahi ho warna roz kisi ke lu*d pe lage hotey.
.............................................................
Marij: Dr.sahib mera khada nahi hota.
Dr.: Ru married? NO
Dr.: Do u have girlfriend? NO
Dr.: Muth marte ho? NO
To BC khada karke dolu taangega kya!
.................................................................
Shadi ki pehli raat shohar apni biwi se:
Begam Ejazat hai?
Biwi: Ji Ejazat hai.
Shohar ne subah tak kar kar bura haal kar diya.
Biwi bimar ho gayi
Shohar usko sasural chodhne gaya,
Wapis aane laga toh apne saas & sasur se bola:
Achha Ji, Ejazat hai?
Bv chillaai: Papa Ejazat mat dena
MAA CH*D dega 
.......................................................................
Sunny leone in Master Chef:
Aaj main Aapko: Kele ka Kofta banana sikhati hoon.
Sabse pehle 1 saaf mota Kela lein.
Agar lene mein maza aa raha hai to lete rahein..
Kofte ki Maa ka Bhos*a.. fir kabhi ban jayega!
......................................................................
A bull was servicing the cows..
Lady asks to manager: How many times can this bull have sex?
Manager replies: 5 to 6 times in a day.
Lady looks at husband: You see?
Husband asks to manager: Is it the same cow every time?
No sir it’s a different cow every time.
Man looks back to wife: you see!
....................................................................
Ek kutti ki 5 kutte mil kar le rahe the..
Ek aurat apni beti ke sath baith kar unhe dekh rahi thi n achanak si aurat hass padhi.
Beti: kya hua mom….???
Mom: kuch nahi beti bas yu hi jawani ke din yaad aa gaye.
..............................................................
Use barish achhi lagti thi,
aur mujhe barish me wo…
Use bheegna achcha lagta tha, mujhe bheegti hui wo…
Mujhe wo achhi lgti thi.. Par use koi aur…
Isliye maa c* barish, Aur maa c* woh!!!
Aaj main Aapko ‘Kele ka Kofta’ bnana sikhata hun.
Sabse phle 1 saaf mota Kela lein.
.
.
.
Agar lene me maza aa raha hai to lete rahe.
Kofte ki Maa ka Bh***da .. fir kabhi ban jayega!
Non veg joke santa banta
.................................................................

Double Meaning Adult Non Veg Jokes

ELECTRICITY SCENARIO
A couple were having sex.. Suddenly, the ceiling fan starts rotating.
Husband: BC Light aa gayi, Pehle Main Apna Phone Charge Kar Leta Hun!!
Wife: Haan… Main Bhi pehle Motor Chala Ke Paani Bhar Leti Hun!
Yeh kaam toh baad mein bhi ho jayega.
....................................................................
Sham diyo se sjaye baithe hai,
khushbu saso me basaye baithe hai,
unki diwangi to dekho,
girl friend raat ko ane wali hai,
aur wo dopahar se hi condom lagaye baithe hai.
......................................................................
Ek Admi gusse me Biwi se bola-
Dil karta hai ki aaj tere tukde tukde kar k idhar udhar fek Du.
Achanak pados me se awaaz aayi..
Bhai ‘ch*t’ idhar fekna.
...................................................................................


एक लड़के की गर्लफ्रेंड उसको रोज रोज अपनी टांगे चौड़ी करके नंगी तस्वीरेँ भेजती थी

और लिखती थी
"जानू मैं कब तक तुम्हारा इंतजार करूँ "
लड़का बोला - भेनचोद इंतजार छोड़ पहले ये बता ये तस्वीरे खिंच कौन रहा है
******************************** 
आज मैं तेरी चौखट पे खड़ा हुं हाथ फैलाकर....
कल तुं मेरी बिस्तर पे होगी अपनी Gaand फैलाकर......
ये वादा रहा...
********************************  
टीचर - बच्चों ये बताओ की हमारे हाथ में लकीरें क्यूँ हैं?
पप्पू- क्योंकि मुठ मरते समय लंड हमारे हाथ से पिसले नही,ग्रिप बना रहे!
अब ये कोन भोसडी का कह रहा है कि ज्ञान बांटने से 
और
चूत चाटने से दिमाग तेज होता है
******************************** 
 Sexy Hindi Jokes
आज का कुविचार -
बुद्धि चड्डी जैसी होती है, होनी ज़रूरी है दिखानी नही,
चूतियापंती ब्रा जैसी होती है, दिखानी नही भी हो तो भी दिख जाती है,
और गलती गाँड की तरह होती है, खुद की दिखती नही पर दूसरों की जरूर दिखती है ।
******************************** 
WhatsApp पर कुछ दोस्त इतने मादरचोद होते है की
सत्संग का वीडियो भी भेज दे तो डाउनलोड होने तक तो लण्ड खड़ा हो जाता है।
******************************** 
killer HP
इस गर्मी में...साला चड्डी...
पहनने का मन नहीं कर रहा है...
और सरकार
बोलती है...
हेलमेट पहनो...
********************************  
भेनचोद असलियत मे तो बोबे को अंतर्राष्ट्रीय फल घोषित कर
देना चाहिए ।
साला सबको चूसने के लिए चाहिए..
******************************** 
गर्लफ्रेंड: आज मेरी ले लो ना।
पप्पू: नहीं मैं कुंवारी लड़कियों के साथ सेक्स नहीं करता।
गर्लफ्रेंड: क्यों?
पप्पू: बस मुझे खून-खराबा और शोर शराबा बिल्कुल पसंद नहीं है
******************************** 
निकली हो सफ़र में 
बड़ी दूर के लिये.....
.
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.
इतनी लम्बी साड़ी पहनी हो 
छोटी सी चूत के लिये।
******************************** 
रंडी चाेदनी होती तो कबकी चाेद लेते….
हम तो बादशाह है घमंडी ही चाेदेंगें...

ऐसी स्टेटस लगाने वाले लड़को को
अगर कोई लड़की hi भी बोल दे तो पूरी रात मुठ मारते मारते टोपे सुजा लेते हैं।..
******************************** 
Dirty Hindi Jokes 
गब्बर सिंग के पैदा होते ही उसकी माँ ने
बहुत मारा ..
,
लोगो ने पुछा क्यो मार रही हो ...??
,
.
.
.
.
,
,
माँ बोली -- कमिना पुछ रहा है,"कितने
आदमी थे ..?
******************************** 
एक मॉल में सेलगर्ल ने कहा- माफ़ करना सर,
आप यहाँ पर धूम्रपान नहीं कर सकते।
मोंटू - लेकिन मैंने तो सिगरेट यहीं से
खरीदी है?
Girl - सर हम कंडोम
भी बेचते हैं, लेकिन यह मतलब
नहीं कि आप मुझे ही चोदना शुरू कर दें
******************************** 
Funny Hot Jokes In Hindi
Sunny leone :- मेरी अगली मूवी हॉरर है
सबको डरा दूंगी..
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बच्चा :- डर तो आपकी पहले की मूवीज में भी
लगता था की पीछे से मम्मी पापा ना आ जाये..
******************************** 
मास्टर जी:- आज का सबसे बड़ा प्रश्न:-
"लू कितने प्रकार की होती हे?"
लड़की :- लू बहुत प्रकार की होती हे जेसे:-........
हाथ में "लू", मुँह मे "लू" 
आगे "लू" या पिछे "लू"
मास्टर बेंहोश
******************************** 
Hot Jokes Hindi

परिस्थिति कभी बदलती नहीं है, 
सिर्फ सोच बदलती है..
जैसे,
जब छोटे थे तो डर लगता था,
अब,
"गांड फटती है..
**********************


DIRTY JOKE IN HINDI – BOSS MUJPE CHADH GAYA


पहली लड़की : आज तो बॉस मुझ पे चढ़ गया था 
दूसरी लड़की : क्यों
पहली लड़की : क्योंकि मैं लेट गई थी..

DIRTY JOKES IN HINDI – CALL GIRL SANTA SE PUCHTI HAI

कॉल गर्ल : तुम मेरे साथ सोना चाहते हो. 
Santa : हां, लेकिन तुम मेरी बीवी की तरह करोगी तो. 
कॉल गर्ल: वो कैसे? Santa: Free में…

Dirty non-veg adult jokes, shayris sms messages

Ek Bande Ki Suhagraat Thi,
Vo Bade Aaram Se Sex Kar RahaThha,
Par Uski Wife Jor Jor Se Cheekh Rahi Thhi,
Banda Hairan Hua Aur Usne
Puchha. Tum Itna Cheekh
Kyun Rahi Ho?
Wife:Bahar Tere Dost
Khade Hai, Chutiye Teri Izzat Rakh
Rahi Hoon
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Sex kya hai;
Sex ek kala hai, Jo kare uska bhala
hai
Sex ek bhavna hai, jisko pura kurne
ki sabki kaamna hai
Sex do atmaon kaa milan hai, sadiyo
se jiska chalan hai
Sex maja hai, Jo na kare uska jeevan
ek saza hai
Sex bhakti hai, jisme subki mukti hai
Sex ek jaap hai, jisko na jupna
mahapaap hai
Sex amrut hai, poora jeevan jisse
trupt hai - Dirty Sex
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Pehli Baar chudai Karane K Baad
Ladki LUND ko choom k Boli:
Aaj Mujhe Satya Ka Gyan Ho Gaya,
'COKE' 'PEPSI'
Sab Bakwas
"MARD Ki LASSI"
Hi Bujhaye Asli Pyaas.
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Purani soch:-Karo ya Maro.
Nayi soch:-Marne se Phle kuch karo!
Ekdam Nai soch:- Jab tak kuch kar
nahi lete maro mat!
Hamari Soch:-Koi Bataega Sala
karna kya hai?
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Kaviyatri ki suhag raat ke baad uski
saheli ne pucha-Kaisi rahi
suhagraat?
Woh boli-
"Aaye the wo der se,
Dil jala diya,
Pehle kiye Darwaza band,
Fir deepak bhuja diya.
Pehle dabane lage
boob tatolkar,
Fir khelne lage
chaddi khol kar.
Ek jung aisi chidi palang par,
Gole wali toph rakh di surang par,
Mila sirf 9 minute ka maja,
Ab bhogni hai 9 mahine ki saja,
9 mahine baad aisa hoga vispot,
Jo ban jayega Bharat ke liye
1 aur vote...
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Paper Dene Or Sex Karne Ke Baad
Sari Girls Ki Feelings Same Hoti
Hai:Kitna Lamba Tha NaKash Thora
Time Or Mil JataTooba Pehle Kitna
Dar Lag Raha ThaPhir To Pata Hi
Nahi Chala Kab Ho GayaUff Teen
Ghante Tak To Meri Saans Hi Band
Ho Gayi ThiAagay Ka To Theek Tha
Peechay Ka Kitna Mushkil Tha Na.
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MARD hone k 6 fayade:
1. 'Un Dino' ka tension nahi hota.
2. Koi Heavy saaman latakta nahi
rahta(.)(.)
3. Nange bhi ghumo to kisi ki
bhavnaye nahi jagti.
4. Virgnity ka koi proof nahi hota.
5. Khujane pe hath geela nahi hota.
6. And above all, jaha chahe waha
moot sakte h.
IF U R MEN.!
Jiyo L**D utha k...
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Ek bus me Ladko & Ladkiyo ki team
Antakshari
Khel rahi thi
Girls Hum Tumko Harakar Hi
Dikhayenge,
Pichhe betha PAPPU BOLA :- Hum
Haar Gye, Chalo Ab Dikhao
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Ek Ladka bike se Aunty ko ghar
chhodne ja raha tha.Jab bhi aunty
ke boobs uski peeth se lagte, wo
kehta : "Na pintu na, ye aunty
he."Ghar pahooch ke Aunty boli :
"Tu kis pintu ke sath baat kar raha
tha?"Ladka sharma ke bola :"aapke
nipples bar bar takra rhe the,, Mera
penis bar bar khada ho raha tha, to
me use samajha raha tha ke pintu
khada na ho, yeh to Aunty
hai."Aunti boli : "Dhutt pagle,Aunty
to mai teri hu,Pintu ki nahi…. chal
andar"
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Most BOYS don't lyk
Touch screen mobile,
U know why?
Jinhe dabane ki aadat
ho,
Unhe bas touch karne
me kahan maza aayega...!!!!
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Azam Khan- Sirji election time kitna
boring hai, chalo kuch game khelte
hain...
Mulayam- Chal dekhte hai hum
dono mein se sabse bada bakchod
kon hai..!
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Teacher Ne Class Mein Pappu Se Pucha
Teacher: “Batao Ladkiya Dupatta Kyun Pahnti Hai?”
Pappu: “Mam, Science Ki Wajah Se”
Teacher: “Wo Kaisi”
Pappu: “Kyunki Science Bhi Is Baat Ko Manti Hai Ki Khane Peene Ki Cheezo Ko Dhakk Kar Rakhna Chahiye“
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Ek jungle mein sare male janwar
female janwaar ko 24 ghante chodte
rahte the.. !!Saari female jaanwar
mil ke Brahmaji ke pass gayi aur
vardaan mangaa ke kam se kam ek
mahiney ke liye chudai se mukti
miley !Bramhaji ne SAB male
janwaron ke laudey kaat ke unko
token de diye aur boley ki ek
mahiney ke baad token lanaa aur
apna-apna lund le jaana.. !Shaam ke
time Bandar ped pe baitha
tha..Bandariya ne usey chedtey hue
kaha:"Chodsaaley,bhenchod ! Ab
chod naa mujhe"?Bandar kuch nahi
bola.Bandariya fir boli"Chod na
Bhadve, chod na behen ke laudey.."!!
Bandar ne ek choti si smile di aur
bola:"Ek maheena ruk ja
haraamzaadi ! Maine Haathi ka token
churaya hai..."!!!
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The best ever English to hindi
dictionary for guys:
xcuse me= sun chutiye;
stupid= abe gandu;
get out=Nikal bhosdike;
I m in problem = Yaar loude lag gaye;
I am scared= gaand phati hui hai yaar;
Where r u= Abbey Kahan maa chuda raha hai;
Would u like to have this= lega laudu;
Not possible!!!= chal bhosdike;
He is a very bad person= Bada madarchod hai;
I'm sorry = maa chuda;
Where r u? = kahan gaand mara raha hai?;
I 4give u! = muh mei le le;
No = ghanta;
Too small= jhaant barabar;
Too big= gaand faadu;
Difficulty= gaand faat gayi;
We rock= maa chod di;
And finally the best one:
Dost= laude......
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Teacher: "What Is A Condom?"
.
Aamir Khan Muskurane Lag Jata Hai
.
Teacher: "Aap Itna Muskura Kyu
Rahe Ho?"
.
Aamir: "Sir!, Wo Kya Hai, Bachpan Se
Iccha Thi
Ki Main Sex Education College Mein
Padhu! Aaj

Yaha Padh Raha Hu, Bahut Maza Aa
Raha Hai"
.
Teacher: "Zyada Maza Lene Ki
Zarurat Nahi Hai,
Condom Ki Defination Bolo?"
.
Aamir: "Sir! Condom Is Anything
Which Reduces
Population"
.
Teacher: "Will U Plz Elaborate?"
.
Aamir: "Har Wo Cheez Jo Population
Control
Kare!""
.
Baccha Paida Nahi Karna Hai,
Condom Hai Na"
"Masti! Chahiye Raat Se Lekar Subah
Tak,Condom Hai Sir"
"Actualy Sir! Hum Condom Se Ghire
Hue Hai"
"8th Class Ke Ladke Se Lekar Mujh
Tak, Sab
Condom Ka Use Kar Rahe Hai"
"1 Second Mein In,1 Second Mein
Out, In-Out,
In-Out"
.
Teacher: "Arre... Defination Kya
Hai?"
.
Aamir: "Wo Hi To Bata Raha Hu Sir"
.
Teacher: "Exam Mein Ye Sab
Likhoge?"
.
"Ye Condom Hai! Masti! Raat Se
Lekar Subah
Tak!
Idiot""Anybody Else??"
.
Chattur: "Sir!, Condom Are Between
Any
Combination Of Body So Connected,
That Their
Relative Positions May Be Seen In
Kamasutra.
.
."Teacher: "Wah! Kya Baat Hai."
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Marzi Ka Sex Pap Nahi Hota..Piche se
Dalne Wala Kabhi Baap nahi
Hota..Condom Zarur Lagana Mere
DostQki..Sex k Waqt POPAT Ke Pass
Dimag nahi hota. Dirty Shayari
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HUSBAND WANTED
A lonely woman, aged 70, decided
that it was time to.get married. She
put an ad in the local paper that
read:
HUSBAND WANTED!
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's),
MUST NOT BEAT ME,
MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME,
AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!
ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN
PERSON.
On the second day she heard the
doorbell. Much to her dismay, she
opened the door to see a gray-
haired gentleman with no arms or
legs sitting in a wheelchair.
The old woman said, "You're not
really asking me to consider you, are
you? Just look at you ... you have no
legs!" The old man smiled,
"Therefore I cannot run around on
you!"
She snorted. "You don't have any
hands either!"
Again the old man smiled, "Nor can I
beat you!"
She raised an eyebrow and gazed
intently. "Are you still good in bed?"
With that, the old gentleman leaned
back, beamed a big broad smile and
said, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"
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What's the difference between
movies having Certificate - U, A, XX,
XXX?
U: Hero gets the heroine
A: Villain gets the heroine
XX: All the actors get the heroine
XXX: Entire shooting unit gets the
heroine
??????

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BE A FRIEND LIKE WOMAN'S BRA
COLOURFUL
COMFORTABLE
STRETCHEABLE
SUPPORTIVE
HOLDING TIGHTLY
NEVER LET GO DOWN
ALWAYS NEAR THE HEART

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Pappu: Dad, today they taught
about Sex in the class.
Santa: Ok son.
Later he saw Pappu shaking his
penis, he asked what r u doing?
Pappu: Homework Dad....

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There are 2 girls in heaven first girl:
how did you die 2nd girl: well i froze
everything waz really cold but then
it got warm how did u die first girl:
well i was sure my husband was
cheetin on me so i came home early
from work one day and he was sittin
on they coach watchin t.v. but i was
so sure i ran around the house and
checked inb closets and underbeds.
then i had a heartattack 2nd girl :
well if you would have looked in the
freezer we both would have been
alive!!!!

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A young girl came back to Doctor and
complained, "Doctor, last time you did
my abortion, you forgot your sharp
blade inside of me,"
Doctor "Oh I am sorry, did it hurt you?"
Girl, "No but my eight friends went
impotent, ten of them lost their
fingers, and four of them went dumb.

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4 stages of relationship:
- Hand in hand.
- Hand in that.
- That in hand.
- That in that.
If you know what i mean..

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An 18 year old Girl got PREGNANT. Her
Angry mother says-Who's the PIG?
Call him..
30 min later a limousine car stops in
front of their house & a Mature grey
haired in a very Expensive SUIT steps
out.
Man:Ur daughter has informed me of
the Problem, howevr I can't Marry her..
But if a GIRL is born I offer a villa & 2
million dolrs.
If a BOY is born den 2 factories & 5
million dolrs.
But in case of Miscarriage, what do u
suggest I do?
Mom-FUCK HER AGAI

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A person was carrying 3 BABIES in the
train.
The Lady next to him asked, "Are they
ur BABIES?"
The Person said: NO! I Own a Condom
Factory
& these are Customer's Complaints!

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Man In Bar Orders Kingfisher Beer.
Lady Next To Him- What A Co-
incidence, Even I Have Ordered
Kingfisher.
Man- I'm Celebrating.
Lady- Me too.
Man- What A Coincidence.
Why are you Celebrating?
Lady- My Husband & I Have Tried 4
Yrs For A Baby..
Today I'm Pregnant.
Man- What A Coincidence
I Am A Farmer From 4 Yrs My Hens
Were Infertile, Today All Laying Eggs
Lady- Wow How Did That Happen?
Man- I Used A Different Cock .
Lady SMILED & Said
WHAT A COINCIDENCE...!!!!!!!

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Little Student: Madam, when I grow up,
how will my wife have a baby?
Teacher: (after thinking for sometime)
An angel will come from heaven &
hand
over a baby to your wife.
Student: so who do I need to fuck ??
wife or angel ?

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A Guy with 25 inch Long penis to
God : I can't live with this long penis..
God : Go to that Lake,
U will find a Female Frog. Ask her to
Marry u,
she'll say No & U will Lose 5 inch.
He Went & asked the Frog : will u
Marry me?
Frog : No
He Lost 5 inches.
He thought 20 inch is still Long.
So he asked again : will u Marry Me?
Frog : No
He Lost 5 inches More.
He thought 15 inch is Great,
But 10inches is Ideal
So he asked again : will u Marry me?
Frog : How many Times do I have to
tell u?
NO! NO! NO!
khel khatam
laude lag gaye !

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4 Gals take lift in a Car full of
Engineers
Since no place, sat on their lap
After 10min
...Grl1:r u Telecom Engr
Boy1:how u know
Grl1:ur Tower is comunicating wit
my Unreachble area
Grl2:r u Computer Engnr?
Boy2:how u know?
Grl2:ur Pen drive is trying to
connect wit my USB Drive
Grl3:r u Automobile Engr?
Boy3:how u know?
Grl3:ur Piston is trying to move
into my Cylinder
Grl4: r u Civil Engr?
Boy4:how u know?
Girl4:ur Dam had broken &
flooded my Village;)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
11 year old girl realized growing hair
between her
legs. Got worried and yelled Mom
about hair. Mom
calmly said. "That part where hair
has grown is
called a monkey, be proud that your
monkey has
grown hair."
Next morning at breakfast she told
her elder sister
"My monkey has grown hair"
Her Elder Sister smiled and said.
"that's nothing, mine started eating
banana's."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

A young boy asks his father, "Dad, is
it OK for us guys to notice all the
different kind of boobs?"Surprised,
the father answers, "Well, sure son,
we wouldn't be normal if we didn't...
there are all kinds of
breasts.Depending on a woman's
age, they are different shapes.In her
twenties, a woman's breasts are like
melons, round and firm. In her
thirties to forties, they are like
pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After fifty, they are like
onions.""Onions, Dad?""Yeah, you
see them and they make you cry!"

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